April 22nd, 2025 | 9 min. read
For millions facing infertility, the path to becoming parents is anything but simple. For Kate and Tom, it was a journey filled with unexpected diagnoses, shots (so many shots), heart-pounding moments, and ultimately, two extraordinary daughters who made it all worthwhile.
In this article:
Meet Kate & Tom
Kate and Tom’s story began in the hallways of Westhill High School, where they met as teachers during the 2006-2007 school year. "We’ve been together ever since," Kate says.
But it wasn’t until the world unexpectedly slowed down that they began to seriously think about starting a family. "COVID quarantine gave us time to really pause and think about what we wanted next," Kate explains. "And that’s when we both realized—we were ready. We fell in love with the idea of having kids of our own."
Like so many couples, they assumed it might take a little time. But as months passed with no positive pregnancy test, they started to worry. After a full year of trying to conceive without success, Kate’s OB/GYN recommended they consult a fertility specialist—and referred them to Illume Fertility.
Searching for Answers
Kate had always known she had polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), a hormonal condition that can make conception more difficult. But during her initial fertility evaluation, the team at Illume Fertility also discovered a fibroid blocking the entrance to her uterus—another unexpected obstacle.
"Thankfully, they were able to successfully remove it surgically," Kate says. Meanwhile, Tom underwent his own medical evaluation and was referred to a urologist, who suggested supplements to help optimize his fertility.
Still, even with these findings, they were ultimately told they had unexplained infertility. After discussing their options with their Illume Care Team, they decided to move forward with in vitro fertilization (IVF)—hoping it would lead them to their long-awaited baby.
What is unexplained infertility?
Unexplained infertility is a frustrating diagnosis given when standard fertility testing doesn't reveal a clear cause for a couple’s inability to conceive.
This means that ovulation appears normal, fallopian tubes are open, sperm quality is within healthy ranges, and there are no obvious structural issues or hormonal imbalances—but pregnancy still isn’t happening.
While it might sound like a non-answer, this diagnosis is actually quite common. About 10-20% of couples facing infertility receive an "unexplained" label after testing. It doesn’t mean nothing is wrong—it simply means that, with the current tools and knowledge, there’s no identifiable reason for the difficulty conceiving.
The good news? Most people with unexplained infertility go on to have successful pregnancies with the help of fertility treatments like IUI or IVF, which can help bypass subtle or undetected issues.
Photos: Mallory's birth; her first birthday; dressed as a mouse on Halloween.
The Power of One Tiny Embryo
After discussing options with their doctor, Kate and Tom began their first IVF cycle. Instead of conceiving on their own as they'd planned, building their family would now involve a complex series of injections, bloodwork, procedures, and a whole lot of patience.
IVF, Round One: Mallory
For their first daughter, Mallory, it took two egg retrievals to produce only one viable embryo.
"At that point, I felt like I couldn't do another egg retrieval," Kate admits. Rather than pushing forward with another round of IVF, they chose to proceed with a frozen embryo transfer (FET).
Before the transfer, Kate underwent a biopsy to determine optimal timing for implantation (called an Endometrial Receptivity Analysis, or ERA). She also opted for laser acupuncture before and after their embryo transfer to support the implantation process, a special offering through Illume's in-house acupuncture program.
That single microscopic embryo became their first daughter, Mallory, born on May 17, 2022.
IVF, Round Two: Ella
Knowing they wanted Mallory (whom they've nicknamed 'Mallie') to have a sibling, Kate and Tom returned to Illume Fertility when their daughter turned one. They went through two more egg retrievals, again resulting in just one viable embryo.
As they'd done before, they prepared for their FET with laser acupuncture and moved forward, trying to remain hopeful. Thankfully, one embryo was all it took, and for a second time, the couple received a call from their Care Team telling them the transfer of their one tiny embryo had been successful. They were elated.
Their daughter Ella was born on May 23, 2024—just two years and five days after her big sister!
One unexpected skill Kate gained during the IVF process? "I got really good at giving myself shots—because Tom got worseand worse at giving them!" she says. "I wasn't that bad [at shots], contrary to her belief," claims Tom.
Photos: Ella shortly after birth; enjoying the outdoors; Kate, Tom, Mallie & Ella on Thanksgiving 2024.
Navigating the Emotional Side of Infertility
While Kate and Tom are grateful to have found success with IVF, they note that it wasn't without its challenges. Throughout the process, Kate found that connecting with others who had gone through IVF was incredibly valuable.
"Being pregnant can already be uncomfortable and strange, but infertility adds a whole other layer," she says. "You need the validation of people who have been there and understand."
She also learned not to compare her personal experience with others' - even those who had navigated infertility themselves.
"Early on, I knew so many people who had lots of embryos, and I only got one embryo each cycle," she shares. "But some people have tons of embryos and still struggle to get pregnant. Our path was different, but that doesn’t make it less valid. You can’t measure your success against anyone else's."
Embracing Chaotic Bliss
These days, Kate and Tom's home is busy, loud, and full of laughter, and they wouldn't want it any other way. “We have two wonderful, beautiful, hilarious, headstrong girls,” Kate says.
"They are the greatest of sisters. We are in love with them—and only very occasionally do we want to give them back," she jokes. “But they are us, and we are them—and we wouldn’t change a thing about how or when they got here."
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Looking Back On Their IVF Journey
Tom considers Kate "the heroine" of their family-building story: "Let's face it - my 'job' wasn't too hard," he remarks. "She was so brave, and I was truly impressed with her throughout this entire process, from taking shots to giving birth."
"I was in awe of how she handled it all, and am still in awe of what a wonderful mother she is to the girls," he adds. "With her guidance, these two little folks are definitely going to make the world a better place, and I am happy to help that along."
As the only man in the house, "I am completely out numbered," Tom says. "Even our dogs are females - but I wouldn’t have it any other way!"
Sharing Stories, Spreading Hope
We’re so grateful to Kate and Tom for opening their hearts and sharing the many ups and downs of their fertility journey. Their honesty, humor, and resilience are a powerful reminder that no path to parenthood is the same—and that every story matters.
As part of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), we’re honoring stories like theirs to help break the silence, reduce stigma, and let others know they’re not alone. Want to get involved?
- Explore our Patient Story Library to find hope and inspiration
- Access fertility support and advocacy tools on our NIAW Resource Hub
- Watch our Ask Monica Q&A Series to feel more empowered and confident
- Talk to our team and get your fertility questions answered
Together, we can illuminate the path for others still walking through the darkness of infertility.
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