When you experience difficulty conceiving Baby #2 after having a relatively easy time getting pregnant with Baby #1, it can be shocking, confusing, and heartbreaking. There might even be a lingering sense of guilt: "Well, I already have a child, so I should just be happy."
This is known in our world as secondary infertility, and it can be deeply upsetting. We typically associate the term “infertility” with those who are unable to have their first child, but secondary infertility is very real, and much more common than you might think.
The good news is that you’re not alone and secondary infertility is treatable in most cases. Yes, this time around may look different, but there are people, places, and groups out there to help you.
So try to drop that guilt, mama. The desire to have another child should never be dismissed or downplayed. Just because you have a child (or children) and still want more doesn’t make this any less important. You deserve support and answers, so read on to better understand secondary infertility. We're here to help you feel empowered on your family-building journey.
Secondary infertility is the inability to become pregnant or to carry a baby to term within one year (or six months if you’re over the age of 35) after previously giving birth to a baby (or babies).
While you might not hear about this as much as women who are unable to conceive at all, secondary infertility is actually the most common form of female infertility, affecting around 1 in 10 women.
Now, for the big question that is likely hanging over your head...why?
Secondary infertility shares many of the same causes of primary infertility. While some fertility challenges show up earlier on, some complications don’t arise until after one, or multiple, successful pregnancies.
To better understand what might be going on, let’s break down some of the most common causes of secondary infertility.
We know that fertility declines with age. Since egg quality declines as we age, women in their mid-to-late 30’s and older are more likely to experience fertility issues.
Men may experience issues leading to infertility, such as impaired sperm production, problems with sperm count, shape, or motility.
It’s possible that you had an underlying condition like endometriosis or PCOS all along, but you had no idea. Other issues may include abnormal cervical mucus or ovulation problems.
You could have scar tissue, fibroids, adhesions, or blocked tubes as a result of a prior pregnancy or surgery.
Since your last pregnancy, you or your partner may now have increased risk factors, such as weight, age, smoking, or taking certain medications.
Also known as recurrent pregnancy loss, this is when a woman has three or more consecutive, spontaneous miscarriages.
This option is not ideal, I know. While we can work to understand what is causing secondary infertility, there are occasions where it is unexplainable. However, unexplained DOESN’T mean unsolvable! There are still solutions that could be right for you.
If you’ve been trying to conceive for one year or longer (or six months for women 35 years or older) with no luck, consider reaching out to a reproductive endocrinology and infertility specialist.
In my experience, women who are facing secondary infertility are more likely to put off seeking support. Maybe your friends and family members are downplaying your struggles because you have successfully had a child or maybe you’re feeling guilty for wanting to further expand your family.
Or, hey, you’re a mom – maybe it’s difficult for you to find the time and emotional energy to seek help when you’re already caring for a young child.
There’s no shame in this game. The truth is that coping with secondary infertility can cause anxiety and grief and you deserve support while trying to achieve the family you desire.
The short answer? Testing and treatment for secondary infertility are typically the same as that of primary infertility.
Let’s dig into more details…in order to begin treatment, both you and your partner need to be evaluated, and your provider will run tests to determine the cause. These can include a hysterosalpingogram (or HSG) and a saline sonogram for her, and a semen analysis for him.
Curious about what to expect from a semen analysis? Check it out here. From there, your Reproductive Endocrinologist will design a unique game plan to solve your secondary infertility.
While individual treatment plans vary, there are four commonly-used options. Let's talk about them!
Secondary infertility should not be taken lightly - it can come with a great deal of stress and overwhelm. You may be encountering less than supportive friends and family members who wonder why you’re “trying so hard" when "You already have a kid!”
But as mentioned before, your family-building goals are your own, and every one of them is valid and supported by us here at RMA of Connecticut.
The truth is, your need for support and treatment is the same as any person struggling with infertility. You should never feel ashamed about facing infertility just because you “already have kids.” When you long to have a child and are unable to conceive, the subsequent emotions can be heartbreaking.
Please don’t feel like you need to cope alone. Advocate for yourself, seek out support, and talk to your health care provider. We see women every day who are struggling with secondary infertility, so while this may feel like a devastating and isolating event, please know that you are not alone, and there are solutions available.
We understand how difficult secondary infertility truly is, and we’re here to help.